The Rat Faced Boy

Places to Eat in Northwood, North Dakota

The rat-faced boy had a dog-faced sister so we came to the conclusion that they had different daddies but that neither was fathered by the man currently married to their mother. That man looked like a weasel, and besides he was as gay and effeminate as a man can be. His was a marriage of something like convenience to the small town heiress of Larry's Restaurant. Her true love was the town's mortician.

The man and his wife ran Larry's which was one of two places to eat in Northwood, North Dakota and was frequented by farmers and townsmen for the daily breakfast and lunch specials.

The rat-faced boy's ancient, arthritic grandmama worked in the steamy scullery. She washed dishes and could always be heard clinking, clattering and banging around. I never saw anyone speak to her except in clipped commands. She muttered a constant stream obscenities that no one ever responded to.

The pancakes served at Larry's weren't poisonous like lead but did have other similarities. They were thick and heavy and served with two wide, greasy slabs of limp bacon and oily hash browns. Returning for the lunch time special didn't really give a person's stomach a chance to get the bacon fat and pancakes a chance to half-digest.

The only other place to eat in town was the drive-in which was run by a man who was as pale and wan and white-headed as a ghoul. In fact, that's what he went by, The Ghoul, a name bestowed in youth. It wasn't known whether The Ghoul was a genuine albino or not but the subject was the cause of much speculation.

The Ghoul smartly avoided the sun and drove a long white Cadillac with darkly tinted windows. He had a wife who bore no children but instead rather a dissatisfaction with existence.  Bear witness every stride she took and every word she spoke. She had once been vigorous and athletic, a cheerleader in fact, and a member of the renowned all-blond Jumpin' Go Goes gymnast group which performed at pep fest rallies and halftimes in places as big as Fargo and Minneapolis and as far away as Grand Island, Nebraska.

Mrs. Ghoul's glory days were long over. In the drive-in she snapped orders at waitresses, flipped burgers, and made malted milks.

The menu of the drive-in was on a big billboard that depicted a smiling pompom girl standing with legs crossed and pompoms in the air. The model for the billboard was Mrs. Ghoul in her younger days. She had been pretty and talented by local standards but was unpleasantly vain and arrogant. She married The Ghoul because she mistakenly thought he had money and promise.

Truck drivers and the locals called the drive-in the "Pomeranian" derived from the pompoms, the quality of the food, Mrs. Ghoul’s promiscuity and other attributes.

...to be continued