Sunday, December 4, 2011

Positive Thinking and Loathing

I planned on spending today whining and moaning and complaining and crying like a fool and thinking about what shoulda woulda coulda been but then some A-hole Facebook friend of mine said,

"Perhaps one of the secrets to a long and happy life is, when faced with adversity, you are able to pick yourself up and dust yourself off, and move on without dwelling upon the negative."

What to do with my day now that my plans had been ruined by advice from a magical thinker.

The only reasonable alternative to self pity is shopping. I went to the department store where I am working and spent my holiday earnings. I bought a couple Christmas presents for my kids and one for myself. I got a great discount on a previously used Wusthof precision forged chef's knife. It was still blood stained. Remember the rude customer whose organ donor card I took literally on Black Friday?

At home when I unboxed the knife I almost sliced my little finger off and walked around the house clutching a wadded up paper towel. I did not whine or moan or dwell on the negative. I screamed in pain.

Unfortunately the paper towel was super absorbent, as shown on TV. It sucked up enough blood to make me sit down and wish I had health insurance.

Enough of this. I'm headed to 501Spin.


Post script: I blew my knee spinning, spent the remainder of the day icing.